Learning How to Forgive
I think forgiveness of others starts by letting what they have done be over in our minds. We cannot relive the hurt for decades and I am talking from experience. The scenarios play in our minds like a show we see over and over every single day. We relive what has happened to keep the anger, bitterness and feud going, so we can tell others what they have done to us so we can remain bitter. This is like cancer it will eat away at your heart and your mind. It will begin to create hatred. Which can cause your body to have illnesses brought on by this constant churning of hurt, pain, anger and bitterness. Our minds are never at rest we keep playing the scene over and over crying how much it hurts, month after month and year after year. Until we have heart issues, autoimmune issues, migraines, can all be attributed to stress I had them all. If we don t choose to let it go it will kill us.
Most of the times the offender is off having a great life and we are still stewing over what they have done to us 5, 10, 15, years ago. Let it go already they are not even thinking of it anymore. We cannot sleep over what we think was going to end of our lives.
Well I say no more, No longer will I give anyone that much space in my mind, heart and soul. I am closed for old hurt taking me down like a bad meal. Feeling sick because of past experiences is not how we can live and enjoy our lives. We must rise above the ashes and overcome all the evil one did to take us out. God will help us if we let him in to heal us.
If someone offends us and we did not loose an eye or limb forgive him or her and walk away. If they continue to be hurtful cut them out of your daily life for a while like toxic mold. You don’t have to keep being subjected to this and guess what God doesn’t want this for us either. He said walk away and shake the dust from your feet. Matthew 10:14
The best thing we can do for people in our lives that constantly try to hurt us is walk away and put them to the foot of the cross pray for them and let God deal with them. He can get into their hearts and minds better than we can with words spoken out of hurt or anger. It is not easy to stop in mid stance and say I forgive them and ask the Lord to forgive them as well for their part. There are 3 parts to all stories ours theirs and at the end of it all is the real truth.
Having to constantly deal with pain and others infliction of pain to our lives? How does one close the world out and also close the voices in our minds that say, this will never change. Where was God in all of this, why am I still going through it all daily. Maybe I’m not worthy for Gods total forgiveness and restoration in my life. After all what good have I done to deserve Gods goodness? I have to do more good things for God to forgive and Love me more. Boy was I deceived in this whole thought process. How wrong was what I was taught in Catholic school? We are always sinners we always need to repent always and hope we make it to heaven when we die. We need to do more good deeds during our lifetime to be found worthy to get into heaven. This is all false doctrine, if it was the truth what would be the signifance of what Jesus did at the cross unless he is crucified daily. The truth of it all is he loves us from the beginning and by accepting the grace Jesus gave us with his death and resurrection at the cross. His death would be in vain. Once we accept him into our lives and baptized into the spirit of God we are his children and what father wants to be mad at his child all the time. By accepting all Jesus did at the cross we are going to heaven. We just have to know when we do wrong and ask forgiveness and learn right from wrong so we are not in constant forgiveness mode.
As a child I dabbled in the occult my moms friend’s daughters were into Ouija boards and séances spells and every other debauchery dealing with getting what you want out of life any way you can get it.
Funny thing is I always feared the devil, always had nightmares and sometimes felt paraysized in my bed at night before I fell asleep. I could not yell for help I could not move a muscle. All I could do as tears streamed down my face was keep saying Jesus help me in my mind over and over until I was let loose. Once I could move and speak again which seemed like an eternity. I would hear you have no one to tell who would believe you anyway. This lasted until I was 19 years old. Why that long I have no idea. But when satan has a grip on a young soul he’s not likely to let go that easy. I never felt loved or wanted by anyone. I looked for love everywhere and never found it. I just wandered the streets of New York City, Brooklyn and Long Island visiting friends on the streets. Never staying for long just dropping by to see if I was still welcome. I always wished to find love and have a marriage that would last a lifetime. Today I’ve been on my own for 28 years and still wanting this type of love. I have to leave it to the Lord, as I definitely do not want to be in an ungodly marriage again I’d rather stay single. With the Lord in my life I feel less alone than I used too. If He does send someone into my life he needs to love the Lord more than me. Then he will have pure love for me in our relationship. When trouble and hardship does arrive, and it will we can go together to the Lord in prayer to over come it all.
As a teen I was an avenger I would fight for animals who were being abused, girls being beat up by their boyfriends and husbands. I was very strong had the strength of my father and his brothers. So diving into a fight never scared me if the cause was right I would fight to the end. My friends would call me to go fight for them or rescue them sometimes it was the same thing.
I believe the Lord put the warrior spirit in me from a youngster. I would feel the pain of others; I have dreams that came true. I never fit in anywhere ever until one day I met a girl in speech class named Roseanne and we became friends my very first true friend. She and I were inseparable. She stood up to my father and over the years brought others to stand up to my father for me.
We both had hard childhoods and we were each other’s cheerleaders over the years. To this day we are still close God knew we both needed each other to get through our lives.
Fast forward many decades later our children are grown and getting married. They are amazing people and are on the path to what we as parents dream of a life of love happiness and joy. This doesn’t mean we will never face hardships but all is overcome by the grace of God and the power of prayer.
In the past I would fret and worry and be so afraid of what was coming I could not figure my way out on my own. Today when life gets too much for me I go immediately into full all out prayer warfare. PS 91 see below, Ps 23, Serenity prayer is good when you are new to the Lords family
I know it sounds crazy but I have known greater peace joy and provision. I have a peace because after 20 plus years I know God is here for me. How could I not after all I have come through with prayer and repentance? I have felt the Lords arms around me and have become dependent on him for everything. I thank him for everything because all I have is because he made a way for me to have it.
My favorite prayer for protection is psalm 91
1He that dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3 Surely he shall deliver us from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
4 He shall cover us with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; or for the arrow that fly by day;
6 Nor for the pestilence that stalks in darkness or for the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thousand shall fall at our side, and ten thousand at our right hand; but it shall not come near us.
8 We will look with our eyes and see the recompense of the wicked.
9 Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation
10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come near our tent.
11 For he shall give his angels charge over us, to guard us in all our ways.
12 They shall bear us up in their hands, lest we dash our foot against a stone.
13 We shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him, and show him my salvation.
This prayer is powerful and I have watched in real time how it has worked for my family and friends over the years. Today I am amazed at my own transformation and also how I react to the events good and bad that go on in daily life. It all starts with having a relationship and accepting Jesus as my Lord and savior.
We truly do have to understand why we want to be in a relationship with a God we cannot see or at times wonder if he even hears us or cared enough to help us. For me it was not easy as I trusted no one.
I had to learn to trust the Lord this was not easy t times. I had a lot of pride and ego and spirit self-sufficiency. I had to be in control of everything as I felt if I gave up control I would fail or die. I always felt I did not need anybody or really knew if anyone truly cared.